what she wrote

So, tomorrow I'll be 23.

When did that happen? O.o

Gosh I still remember when I was like 10 and I thought that people in their twenties are so ooooooold and intelligent and mature and adult-like. Now I feel slightly old, but not intelligent, mature or adult-like. I've been cheated. >:(

Well, seeing how it's Kauppakadun Appro tomorrow, I'll be having the biggest birthday party ever - about 8000 people celebrating with me. And I'm gonna put on a ridiculous hat and be so merry they will all feel jealous.

Ingenious. <3

Gosh, lectures really aren't treating me well this autumn. Yesterday, I had six hours worth of a guy who tried to teach us how to productize things by using his daughters plush toys as an example. Works in theory I guess, but boy did I feel like an imbecile sitting there and listening to him. -.-;; Today we're learning marketing and the lecturer is like, two years older than me. And all these presentations and going over the same stuff again and again and AGAIN make me feel sooooo unbelievably bored that for the past two weeks I've resolved into reading manga online while I sit at school, supposedly taking notes. I might detest writing essays, but my god, it surely is more interesting than THIS.

You know what's a sure sign that it's autumn? The adult education center's adds. Except of course when they advertise the spring courses, because that just means the Holidays are over. Er, where was I? Oh, right. The flavor of this autumn - meaning listing the courses I hogged this year.

weekly courses:

1. basic japan (I know about half of it, but I was too chicken to take the advanced course)
2. comic course (which made Darling laugh out loud and ask me if I checked the age limit)
3. bead accessories (What? I like doing cute stuff. D:)

weekend courses:

1. Creative felt cloth
2. Creative bookbinding

So yes, I did it again; got manic and couldn't choose and ended up taking a lot. Hopefully the courses will be fun and I won't regret taking them all. Otherwise I'll feel really crappy around Christmas.

So, I have some schoolwork to do. Some meaning quite a bit, and until the 10th to complete them. Yes, it's that time of the year - autumn. And school never gets any more fun.

When I was in high school, I seriously thought that when I'll get into the Uni of my choice, to the field choice and study the subject of my choice, school will be interesting and fun. I thought that the mandatory and boring subjects of high school were what made it tedious. Now I'm finding out that maybe I'm just not cut out for studying, period. I'm a quick reader, a quick writer and when it comes to picking up a good novel or whipping up some poetry or short story, I usually am pretty good at it. But school books? School essays? Even when the subject is what I chose and what I find most interesting? Yeah... not all that I thought it would be.

For example, right now I should be writing an essay about Kuopio RockCock - how well it was arranged, what were the performers like, the marketing and what I thought about it... Well, basically, as I study the field, an "if it were me, this is what I would have done better" -essay at heart. Two to four pages, a no brainer really, as I've written more even about our student organization's cottage party (got an A from it, by the way). It's easy enough to talk about what I want to write and what I want to say, but when the blank word document stares back at me and nags to me about being formal, nothing comes out. Everything sounds stupid and bland and I even if I manage to write long enough, it bothers me to think that I actually am the person responsible for writing such a tedious thing. Even when it's what I'm supposed to do and even if only my teacher will read it, it still bothers me.

...And considering how much bigger problems people have, comparing my idiotic problem to those makes me feel even more depressed. Especially since my student income is dependable on those tedious essays I'm completely able to produce but just am too, I don't know, anxious and stupidly overconcious? about. You'd think that if nothing else, the threat of having to pay back money to the goverment for not proceeding enough in your studies would make one's pen sing like a bird on LSD. And I am too broke to do that, even if not completely broke thanks to some recent development I'll maybe mention later.

*sigh*

Well, time to get back to writing another tedious essay, I suppose.

I got most of the things I was supposed to do today done. That's fine, right? Doesn't mean I just pushed forward things I won't do anyway, right?

I went shopping with T today. Bought two shirts, one of which is rather small, but T told me it's not small small, just... small. It was so pretty that I got even if I'm not sure I agree. It only cost 9,90 (from the children's section... Well, the size DOES say 158, and I'm only 155 tall, so), so I'll give it to my niece as a present if it just ends up hanging in my closet. The other shirt is black, kinda rock. I'll probably wear it till it's in tatters (might not take long as I'm not entirely sure H&M's clothes do well with someone actually wearing them for longer than they are in "fashion"... we'll see). Oh! And I also bought a ridiculous hat, because it made me feel silly in a positive way. I wonder what Darling will say.

Had the most hilarious convo with dad on the car:

me:   --But really, the punishments they give out for things like rape are just ridiculous. Did you know, that a few years back they came up with this new degree of rape, "light", and afterwards, most of the rapes have been seen as "light" cases, even when the man has banged a woman's head on the wall. What's light about that, I wonder?
dad:  Maybe he had such a small dick.

Also: seems like dad will cure my money problems as well. He has hurt his back (which is really awful of course, but to me, an opportunity in disguise) and he has the first school photo-shoot (yes, he's a professional photographer) of the year next week one every day after that and he told me that since it looks like I'm still out of job, he wants to hire me to be his driver and helper. It's not even just a charity-case, since he really needs help. Of course, this has made mom decide that me not getting the job was God's way of making sure I'd be available when dad needed me. It is somewhat annoying, but also somewhat cute. Anyhow, means I got more time now to search for a job I can do on weekends when the school starts, which I appreciate.

And! The damned refrigerator actually has a two-year guarantee, which still has 7 months left. I'm saved!